More Babies

As most of you know, I have always wanted to be a mom. That was my dream job.

When I was little I was determined that I would have twins. Now, we'll have to wait and see I guess. I swear there was something in the water at my high school tho because it seems like so many of my friends and old classmates have little twinners running around now.

I also have a lot of friends (and classmates) that have struggled or are still struggling with infertility. This thought is always in the back of my mind. I don't think it will ever leave.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about Hiccup becoming a big brother, and trying to figure out if and when to start trying for another baby.

*Will it take another two years (or even more) for me to get pregnant?

*If I get pregnant right away will I be OK with the age distance between my kids?

*What if my pregnancy is completely different and I feel miserable? How will I continue to be a good mom and take care of Hiccup?

*Can I deal with the emotional stress of trying for another baby?

*How will we as a family adjust to another baby?

*We still have medical bills from Hiccup's delivery, and we're going to add another one?

*What will we do about daycare?

I know that our family is not yet complete. I know that we will be blessed with a baby at exactly the right time, whether we realize it or not. It will be a faith-testing, patience-trying process; before, during, and after the pregnancy.

Hiccup is growing up so quickly! It makes me so excited for all the new stages and milestones to come, but it makes me miss and yearn for that baby stage again when all he needed was me.