Reflections & Resolutions

2012 is coming to a close. It was a good year, generally speaking, for our family. We had some major life changes, some big and small trials, a lot of laughs, and tears of all sorts.  I get really sentimental this time of year. Holidays are a time that we surround ourselves with the ones we love and relive our favorite memories. Most people are so eager to put the year behind them and to start fresh. I think that it's only fair to look forward to this new coming year only after I've taken a minute to realize how truly blessed I was this past year.
The Top Moments of My 2012: *I turned 25. Wow. When did I get so old? I still feel like I just barely graduated high school. I guess no matter what my age I will still always be somewhat of a kid. *We bought our very first house. It was a crazy and stressful process but I'm so thankful it turned out well. Our house isn't fancy or grand or anything special, but it's ours. It is our little safe haven from the world; a good, relaxing place to rest our heads each night; a bright, open space to laugh and play with our family. It feels like our home, like we belong there and we can grow there. I know it won't be our home for too many years but while we are there I will always be grateful to have a place to call mine. *Hiccup was born. I've said it a hundred times and I mean it; if all my pregnancies and deliveries would be like this one, I would have 12 kids. I loved being pregnant and feeling my little boy grow. Delivery went just about as flawless as I could have expected, my dr and nurses were fabulous and I recovered much quicker than I  thought. Meeting our little one was one of my very favorite experiences and I wish I could live in that memory forever. He is so very special to me and I am thankful every day that I am trusted with him. *Hiccup has learned to smile, laugh, roll over, crawl, sit up, pull himself up, the list goes on. He's a good little eater and has the biggest, most curious, blue eyes that I just love. He loves his mama and daddy and loves to show off. What a fireball that kid is. He is so slight and wiry and such a daredevil. He's not quite six months and he's already fascinated by the stairs and tries to climb everything. He will keep me on my toes that's for sure. Life will never be the same, and will never have a dull moment; just the way it's supposed to be right?

I'm very much looking forward to 2013. 2012, although with its many blessings, has been rough on us: spirtitually, mentally, physically, financially. I'm not a big believer in making resolutions, probably because I have never in my human existence kept one that I have made. Instead I thought I'd make a list of things I'd like to see happen, whether they are goals or predictions or even dreams. I will try my best to make them come true. *I would like to get out of debt. I need to budget better and differently now that we have a little one in our house. I'm trying hard to plan for his future but to give us a comfortable now as well. *I want to use this next year to be better to myself. I need to take better care of myself and make more time to do things to help my mental and physical wellness. *I'd like to fall in love with reading again. I used to read a few books each month but I've gotten out of that habit. I think reading makes you a more intelligent and imaginitive person. Who couldn't use more of that in their life? *I will be kinder. I will judge less. I will give the benefit of the doubt. I will be forgiving. All of these I struggle with. Ugh. This will be my biggest challenge I'm sure. *I want to witness Hiccup's first steps *I want to hear his first words, I'm predicting 'ball' , 'mama' , or even 'hi'. *I want to take a family trip to the zoo and see how the little one lights up at all the animals around him. *I want to take a baseball vacation. This may be a stretch. I guess the budgeting goal will play a major role here.. fingers crossed! *I want to be a better wife and mama. I want to fall in love with my family and be the best that I can for them. *I want to be faithful and trusting. I need to stop doubting every move I make. There is a plan for me. Everything happens for a reason. Life is good and it will turn out for the best. I should write that down on my mirror and look at it every day.

I wish everyone a happy new year. Make the very best of this life and each moment it gives you. Tell the people you love that you love them. Spend time laughing every day. Find something good in every day. When you forget to do these things I will be there to remind you. Please help me to find the good moments as well.

I have never...

The world supposedly is ending tomorrow. I think I'd be ok with that. I feel like my life is in a good place. So, if tomorrow was my last day, I'd know that I did the best I could and only bigger and better things were to come for my family and me. It got me thinking of things I have done that I'm so grateful for and have absolutely loved and enjoyed. It also got me thinking of the things I wish I could have or would have done. I don't believe in having regrets. I believe that there is a lesson to be learned from everything and that there is a reason everything happens. I have a bucket list of things I'd love to accomplish, places I'd like to visit, etc. But this isn't the post for that. Today I'm going to share a list of random, probably insignificant, things that I've yet to do in my life. One day I might do some of them; some things I'm ok with never having done. Anyway, enjoy my list and judge all you want!

I have never... *played spin the bottle; I guess now it's a little too late for that one *toilet papered someone's house; is it illegal after you turn 18? *been sung to at a restaurant; referring to happy birthday here *seen fireflies; this is one thing I am looking forward to doing one day *eaten funnel cake; what the heck is it, anyway? *done any golfing besides the mini kind; I really don't think I have the coordination

I have never... *been to Antelope Island; I know that it's probably not exciting, but I've lived close to it my whole life and I've still never been there! *been to Las Vegas; what do non-gambling-people do there? *been to Bear Lake; OK, I drove passed it in the winter but I hardly think that counts *been to the Manti Pageant; is it fun? *been to Cherry Hill; we always hit up Surf N Swim instead *been outside of the country; this WILL change one day! *been on the teacups at Disneyland; why puke at the happiest place on earth?

I have never... *had a star on the top of my Christmas tree; always an angel growing up, and this year there's an elf up there :0) *been trick or treating in a strange neighborhood; I always played it safe.. and kind of boring *made a gingerbread house; graham craker or otherwise.. never done it *seen all of Christmas Vacation; oh it's so awkward! I hate awkward things *liked pie; give me pudding instead and I'm a happy girl *kissed anyone under mistletoe; hint hint husband of mine

I have never... *had a cast; I've injured myself plenty, but none have required a cast *eaten a cherry; gross *been to a hockey game; does watching Mighty Ducks count? *roasted a hot dog over a fire; love me some mallows on the fire, but I've never ventured over to the dogs. I must try this *been rock climbing; I'm kind of a scardey cat with this one *ridden a horse; this one too *eaten something even slightly sour without making a terrible face; I've got wimpy sour senses. I just can't handle them *floated down a river in a tube; it looks like fun :0) Any ideas on how to tackle some of these?

Movie Monday {Christmas Edition}

 

One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is all the great holiday movies. I've been known to watch these whether the season permits it or not, but you better bet they're being watched as soon as the Thanksgiving turkey is gone and until the new year is here. There are many good ones, but I'm gonna feature just a few of my favorites today.

ELF starring Will Ferrell, James Caan, & Zooey Deschanel
"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"
"The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear."
"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup."
"I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite."
"You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa."
"I like to whisper too!"
"Actually, I'm a human, but I was raised by elves."
" Have you seen these toilets? They're GINORMOUS!"
"It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture."
"I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands."
" I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel."
If you haven't seen this show, boy are you missing out! I'm pretty sure I could recite 90% of it, not that anyone would enjoy that, but I think it's a talent worth sharing.

THE SANTA CLAUSE starring Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, & Wendy Crewson
"Not too hot. Extra chocolate. Shaken, not stirred"
"Denny's. It's always open."
"Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease."
"Tinsel... Not just for decoration."
"It's Santa! You killed him!"
"My dad is Santa Claus."
"Plain milk's fine..."
I still remember going to the theater and seeing this movie for the first time with my grandma and brother and cousin. I love how they have an explaination for everything involving Santa. My kids will watch this movie when they have any question involving the ins and outs of how Santa works his magic. So cute.

HOME ALONE starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, & Daniel Stern
"This is my house, I have to defend it."
"You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?"
"This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!"
"If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses."
"I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!"
"Wow, that's real crystal. Put it in your purse."
"Did anyone order me a plain cheese?"
" I made my family disappear."
" I can't make ornaments out of the old ones, with dried worm guts stuck on them."
"Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!"
Harry:  Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Marv: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
"Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!"
"Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff! You'd better come out and pound me!"
"Wait, I have a coupon for that. It was in the paper this morning. "
John Hughes and Chris Columbus... of course Home Alone is fantastic! This is another movie that I quote the entire time I'm watching it. I make for a bad movie buddy, what can I say? I think everyone who saw this movie as a kid fell in love with it. The thought of a kid staying home alone, and booby trapping his house and torturing bad guys.. AWESOME!

A TRIBUTE of sorts {Casey}

I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail about how we met and our lives since then, I'll save that for another time. I'm gonna use this space today to share a little of why I love this man.

**He lets me be curious about his childhood. I'm constantly asking him to tell me stories about growing up and asking about various different things. I love hearing about his memories and vacations and family traditions. I could look through pictures of him growing up for hours and watch family videos right after. He was such a cute and funny little kid with a deep, scratchy voice. I'm excited to see Hiccup grow and to see if there is any resemblance. He already makes certain faces that reminds me of his daddy. **Casey has a lot of different talents. He enjoys photography and I enlist his skills in this area as much as possible. He does a good job so most of the time he humors me and helps me out. He is going to school to be a graphic designer but has worked in the field for awhile now. Again, I have (make) him help me out with many a project and volunteer his help and skills more than he'd like I'm sure. You can check out some of his work here. **We have similar taste. In food, music, movies, furniture. It makes life a lot easier when you can both agree on something. I wish we didn't have such expensive taste in things tho. That puts a damper on things.

**He is up for trying new things.. so much more than I am. I wish I were more spontaneous but I try and plan every last detail of everything. Sometimes I even plan for mistakes or set backs just so I won't be surprised by them. He keeps his cool under pressure and helps to calm me down when things go awry. He tries new food when I ask him to and he is much better at meeting new people than I am. **He lets me pick where we go to eat. I don't consider myself to be a picky person but I know deep down that I probably am. One of our biggest arguments is over where we are going out to eat. Even though I ask for his opinion and he offers several suggestions, we usually end up going to where sounds good to me. Poor guy. I'm sure he's sick of going to the same ol places. One day I'll shock him and let him be in charge of dinner 100%.

 

**Little surprises make him a happy guy. I can bring him home a Coke or make him some cookies or just send him a funny pic of Hiccup and he appreciates it. I like being able to 'spoil' him with lots of little things. I'm lucky that he likes treats so much cuz I like surprising him with them; so what if I'm trying to fatten him up? :0) **He makes me laugh. Even on days when I really want to feel sorry for myself, he can cheer me up. When I'm trying really hard to be mad at him, he makes me crack a smile. We're especially giggly with each other when we're trying to fall asleep. Why is everything funnier when you're sleepy? **He is silly with me. We talk in funny voices and make up stupid songs and do really silly dance moves. We have fun.

  

 ** He's supportive of me. He is always asking me if there are things I want to do or goals I want to pursue. He is working hard to finish school so that I can stay home more and raise our little ones. ** He's mysterious. This is one of the first things that attracted me to him. I just had to figure out what made him tick. ** He takes good care of me. He worries about me when I'm sad or not feeling good. He lets me boss him around (such a good husband, I trained him well), he makes it a point to give me a  kiss before he leaves each morning and check up on me through out the day. **He still holds my hand. Enough said. **He likes to dress up--like in costumes. (He likes to dress up fancy too.) I love this about people. I love getting dressed up for any reason at all and I am so glad that he gets excited about this like I do.

 ** He is still a little kid. He gets excited about little things, loves to play around, and is much sillier than people would expect. He takes himself just serious enough not to do anything too embarassing, but still makes everyone laugh. **He talks about growing old and looking forward to the future. He is amazed with technology and is excited to see where it leads as we get older. He makes plans with me for years down the road and I'm excited to experience so many adventures with him.

 There are so many things I like about him and so many reasons I love him. I'd tell him these things more often but I'm trying to keep him humble :0)

a little more about me

I have a hard time talking about myself, even worse, I have an extremely hard time selling myself (ie interviews, evaluations, etc.). I haven't ever had a great self esteem although I try my best to be positive and be a good person and take care of the people in my life. The people around me are what effects my personality the most I think. Anyway, rambling on like I do, the point of this post... I found a funny template of ways to get to know people. I thought it would help introduce myself a little and keep my brain awake on this dreary Wednesday.

Allergic to: I can't have the artificial cinnamon in bears, or gum, or hot tamales. My tongue swells up and my throat gets all scratchy.
Best quality about myself: Oh good, one of these fill in the blanks... I feel like I'm a pretty good mama (so far), I love spending time with my little boy and I know that he loves me by the way he looks at me and smiles at me and cuddles me. I feel like most of the time I'm pretty witty; you can usually count on me for a sarcastic comment or two.
Chore I hate:  Lots. I hate doing the dishes, although once I'm actually doing them I dont mind as much. I think it's the process of getting started that's overwhelming. I don't enjoy laundry, especially now that there's so much of it. How does one little person have so many dirty things?! I hate cleaning the bathroom, thankfully my husband assumes that job. I also hate working in the yard. Yuck. Bugs and dirt, blech. I think yard work (including garbage duty) is a boy's job.

Dessert I can't resist: Wow, where to start? I have a super sweet tooth. I love Jr. Mints (plain or with popcorn), Redvines, Mint Milano cookies, eclairs... many others. Those are the treats that I cannot say no to, even if my tummy feels like it will explode I will still make room for these!
Essential start of your day: I got into the habit awhile back of saying my morning prayers while I was in the shower. I know it's not really the most reverant way to pray, but it helps me remember. It's usually a pretty casual conversation with my HF, but I look forward to my little habit each morning. It helps start my day off by remembering the things I have and am thankful for and I can ask for a little extra help to get through the day, week, etc.

Favorite color: Green. It's been my favorite since I was little and even though it may change for a few days, I still keep coming back to it. I do however have a couple different favorite colors for different instances. My favorite color on a car is white, my favorite crayon is magenta ( I would always steal this one from the box and keep it in my school desk when I was little), my favorite color to wear lately is blue, my favorite color for my husband to wear is either black or red.
Graduated high school/college: I graduated from Roy High in 2005. I loved high school. I seriously had so much fun and loved just about every minute of it. I made some life long friends there and so many good memories. I went to Weber State right after I graduated but had a really hard time transitioning. I have tried to go back several times but college just isn't a good fit for me right now. Maybe someday.
How I would spend the $10 I found in my pocket: Normally, and maybe today if I happen to find some extra cash, I would go buy me a yummy lunch to brighten up my work day. But lately if we have any extra cash at all it goes into our always-dwindling-checking account, our trying-to-grow-savings account, or into our date jar so we can go do something fun.
Instruments you play: absolutely nothing. I have no musical ability whatsoever. I can't even whistle. I wanted to learn to play the clarinet in jr. high, and in high school I really wanted a guitar so I could be in a band. Neither of those worked out.
Job (first): Does babysitting count? I did a lot of that when I was younger. I loved playing with and taking care of little kids. My first legit job was for the local paper, writing for the teen section. I think I got a total of two paychecks from there. I did get published tho. Yay for me.
Kids: Little Hiccup is five months old today. Holy cow how time is flying. He's crawling, sitting up, eating like a champ, and smiling up a storm. Gosh, I love him so much. He makes my life more complete. He makes me want ten more kids and then none at the same time so I can spoil the heck out of him.

Languages I speak: I took Spanish through jr high and high school but can only remember bits and pieces. I also know a little bit of sign language from some summer classes.
Middle name: My mom's family doesn't like giving girls middle names. I always wished I had one though. When I was younger I pretended it was Michelle. Later I had a couple friends give me funny ones like Jasmine and Tampico. If I have a little girl, she will have a middle name.
Nickname: technically the name I go by is a nickname, but I have a few other random ones. My family calls me Colee, my husband calls me Honey, and I also respond to Arizona, Crazy, Nik, Cole, Emily, and a few others I'm sure.
Odd talent I have: I am pretty good at finding things; my mom always used to wake me up early in the morning to help her find stuff so she could leave for work.
Pet peeves: Wow. I have so many. That makes me sound like a terrible person, so I'll try and limit my list to just a few things. I have road rage bad, I hate when people don't signal or leave their signal on for way too long, cut me off, drive way too slow, follow too close.. the list is endless. I hate when people say words wrong : pacific for specific, supposably for supposedly, ah, there are so many others. I hate when people sniff or blow their nose, yuck. I hate when people are fake nice, when they treat others poorly, and people that think 10% is a decent tip.
Quote from a movie: I'll pick one of my favorites, The Sandlot : "If you were thinking you wouldn't have thought that." Love it.

 

 Right or Left handed: I'm right handed, but I've noticed that I put my belt on left handed and also use the paper cutter left handed.

Song I always sing along to: Ride With Me by Nelly; Yeah by Lil John, Ludacris, Usher; anything by Queen; Three Little Birds by Bob Marley; Something Like That by Tim McGraw

Time I wake up: If I wake up by 7:00 then I'm usually on time for work. I'm getting better about not hitting snooze so many times.

oUt of the country visits: None yet. One day. I will get some stamps in my passport.

Vegetables I like & dislike: I'm a veggie girl. I like lots. Some of my favorites are green peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, yellow squash, and green beans. I don't like avacados, artichokes, olives, eggplants, and onions.

What makes me run late: When Hiccup wakes up off schedule and needs some attention, when my husband runs late then I run late by default. Bad hair days, misplacing things, finding something to wear, and school zones all make me run late in the morning too. In general tho, I run late because I underestimate how long it will take to accomplish something or how long it will take me to get to my destination.

X-rays I've had done: I think my feet and my teeth are the only xrays I can remember. I've had a number of ctscans and ultrasounds though.

Yummy food I make: Most of the yummy things I make are treats: oatmeal cookies, peanut butter bars, scotcharoos, and blondies are a few favorites. I have figured out how to make a yummy Asian-like sauce that we fry noodles in and marinate meat in. It's pretty good.

Zoo animal: When I was younger I thought it would be so cool to have a white tiger as a pet. I was obviously a pretty dumb little kid. I haven't been to the zoo in a very long time, and almost every time I remember being there it was rainy and miserable. I guess if I went to the zoo today I'd be excited about seeing pandas or koalas, kangaroos, penguins, otters, and prairie dogs.

 Now you know more than you ever cared to know about me. You're welcome.

a new tradition

I am a sucker for holiday traditions. To me they are the best part about celebrating the holidays. Every year we get together with my family for our traditional Christmas breakfast. I look forward to that meal evey year, maybe even more actually than exchanging presents. My husband and I have tried to come up with some tradtions for our own little family. We have experimented with an advent calendar for a Christmas or two and this year we decided to use it as a things to do calendar. Each day we go to our calendar and along with a treat we find something (hopefully) fun to do that day. We have watched Christmas movies, made treats, gone shopping, and we have started the tradition (a tradtion within a tradition, if you will) of preparing for Sinterklaas

This friendly fellow is Sinterklaas. I looked up some holiday traditions from countries of my family's heritage and found one I liked. We found ideas on this website. Sinterklaas is from the Netherlands and I remember doing this with my shoes when I was little and I loved it. So on the night of December 5 we set three pairs of shoes out by the door, and wouldn't you know it, the next morning there were little goodies left for us! Hiccup is too little to realize what was going on, but I'm sure he'll love the organic peaches Sinterklaas left for him. I think this will be something fun for our family to do for many years to come. Now I've just got to get my hands on some awesome wooden clogs!

GOING BACK IN TIME {featuring the bump} *part three

The final stretch: I got a lot of odd comments from random people during my pregnancy; some were nice but most just made me think, "Did you really just say that outloud... to a pregnant lady?" The last month or so I got a lot of people asking me if I was ready  to be done. Honestly, I loved being pregnant. It had it's uncomfortable moments but over all I loved it. I loved realizing my dream of being able to have a baby in my belly and being able to feel him move and watch my tummy grow. He was easy to take care of while he was in my belly. He was such a wiggle worm and he took up every ounce of space available to him but I still loved it.

Two days before my due date I woke up and started my day like normal. I started my maternity leave from work the week of my due date so that I'd have a few extra days to put the finishing touches on getting ready for the babe. Those days at home were probably the longest of my pregnancy, other than that the nine months flew by! As I got ready I noticed that I was having pretty steady contractions. They were about five minutes apart and would last for about one minute. I timed them and after about 45 minutes I called my husband at work and told him we probably should head up to the hospital. My contractions weren't painful, but I hadn't felt the baby moving since the night before so I was getting worried. Later someone told me that babies are usually calm and don't move a lot right before they're ready to come... that would have been nice to know. We got to the hospital, got checked in and moved in to a little temporary room for observation. Baby's heart was beating strong on the monitors and my contractions had stopped, but I was progressing so I was given some options: we could go home and wait it out, I could walk around the hospital and see if I could get my contractions to start up again, or I could be induced. I was nervous about being induced so we decided to walk around the halls for a bit. After about an hour we were given two options, be induced or go home. We decided to give baby a jump start and stayed at the hospital. I felt peaceful about our decision to induce, I was technically in labor and I thought that at home I'd just drive myself crazy. They started my pitocin around 5 that afternoon.

I tried to tough it out and experience as much of labor as I could handle. But after mostly back contractions, that were completely miserable and difficult to breathe through, I opted for the epidural. That thing was fabulous. It was a bit uncomfortable and kind of painful during the process but the end result was awesome. Baby didn't react well to the pitocin, his heart rate kept dropping and I was getting light headed so they stopped my meds and put me on oxygen. I stopped progressing and tried to get some rest. By this time both of our families had stopped by and were patiently waiting. At 2 in the morning our dr was called and we were headed for go time. Pushing lasted about 15-20 minutes and was such an odd experience. It was hard to tell what exactly to do and if I was doing it right, but once baby was on his way out I could definitely tell. At 2:43 our little Hiccup was born. He weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces and was 20 inches long. He had some breathing problems so I couldn't hold him right away. The NICU team worked their magic on him and took good care of him and about 15 long minutes later I finally got to meet my little boy.

 He was so much chubbier than I thought he would be and looked nothing like I expected. But he was all mine and my heart just melted holding him and looking at him and taking it all in. He was wide awake and ready to meet the world and everyone who had waited to meet him. I didn't cry or get emotional when he was first born. I think I was too worried about him being ok. But holding him in my arms those first hours were some of the most peaceful and reassuring moments of my life. It is weird how something can come together so quickly and feel like right in that exact moment, everything in your little world makes perfect sense. It is amazing how much love you can have for someone so little and so new. When we first met him we couldn't grasp how we had gone so long without him.

The nurses took such wonderful care of me but I absolutely hated being in the hospital. I couldn't wait to take my little boy home and start our new adventure together as a family. Our pediatrician told us he'd really like the monitor baby for another 12 hours but I was going stir crazy so we were able to go home and then back to the dr office a day later.

Motherhood has been an adjustment. It has had more complications than I thought; some aspects have been better than I could have imagined and others have been a bit more difficult. I have had to go back to work for now but we have family watching the babe during the day. Once my husband finishes school hopefully I'll be able to stay home a little more, but for now we will do what works best for our little family.

Movie Monday

When I was in high school, a boy that I was dating at the time introduced me to one of his favorite movies... Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I had never seen it before and I instantly fell in love. This movie is perfect for any occassion, will guarantee a laugh out of anyone, and should be quoted as much as humanly possible. Cameron is my favorite, probably because I see myself in him. Sloane is adorable, Rooney is despicable, Grace is splendid with one of my favorite accents, and Ferris is the guy everyone wants to be or be friends with. Ah, I love the pure sweet bliss that is this movie.  John Hughes, may God bless you; this movie will always be one of my absolute favorites.